i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
