Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
