She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
