If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Your cock deserves a montage
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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