STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
the liver wants what the liver wants
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
