I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
