One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
