When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
