If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
