So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
