The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
