I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
