i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
