youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
