all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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