i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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