Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
