Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
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Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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