She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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