areolas are like halos for boobs.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We have started to decorate penises.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
