A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
