I heard we made out
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize