that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
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