how can u be prego again
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
