I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
