she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
