I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
