who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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