I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
