I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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