you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
