we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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