it was like eating out sand paper
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
