Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
