I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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