I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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