I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
