worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
