Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
