"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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