Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
