I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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