So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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