We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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