It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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