If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
