oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
