Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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