That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
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My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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