Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
