She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
