it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
