Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Acid is not a monday night drug
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
