i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
