Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
