nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
