there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
