is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
