So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
