3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
